Saturday, November 6, 2010

Working with accepting change

There are some changes that always seem welcomed; Mike finishing school and getting a raise at work, becoming pregnant and watching the little one grow. Other changes come with a little more fear; Mike starts scanning on his own without anyone checking over his scans starting Monday, He has to start studying for 2 board exams, me starting my rotation tomorrow and having no idea what to expect, Alexander going to daycare for the first time starting Monday and the idea of an actual baby with the crazy sleep schedules at some point in the future. Other changes bring sadness; this is especially true with having Alexander go to daycare, I can not fully express how hard it is to not know how it will be for him and wish more than anything that I could just continue to watch him forever. I am completely envious of all of the stay at home moms that I know. Another change that is making me sad is becoming fat once again. I do realize there is a baby growing, but when I know it is only the size of 2 pennies it makes me wonder why it looks so much larger. I hate no longer fitting into my pants and my shirts getting tight and that those maternity clothes are coming right around the corner. But the key is to accept change, move with it, find some joy in it and realize it is just another adventure on your journey, to realize that the hard times will pass and feel like a flicker in time when you look back. I am so grateful that my little fam is on this ride together, Mike has a way of always making me laugh and helping me see the bigger picture and Alexander has this smile and energy that is purely contagious. I am also so grateful for family that listens when I need to vent and are always there with positive encouragement and support. I love you all so much!
Star
P.S. Alexander was the cutest little bumble bee for Halloween although the costume seemed a bit small (crazy it was an 18mo costume and he is 13mo) but hopefully those pics and some new ultrasounds pics will be posted soon. :)